Why our beds will end up burning...

I have always been wary of that spindly limbed, elastic Gumby-like physique projected onto Peter Garrett, and not just cos of his shithouse dancing - which, incidentally resembled "The Monkey" on crack, but cos he's highly questionable..

And this creepy, sinister shadow was cast even BEFORE he sold his tree-huggin soul out to the Federal government, embraced by some indulgent, bullshit ministerial role.

So, Kevin Rudd reasoned:

"he's a rock star and he likes to sing about hardcore greenie type issues, so let's make up this all-encompassing portfolio of, say, the arts and the environment or something...we might need to whack water onto it at some point.."

With a trademark flash of his beady eyes and a recoiling gesture from his play dough wrists, he went about mass destruction...laughing maniacally to himself, he noted to himself one night in front of the bathroom mirror:

"It's just too, too perfect..I mean to cut most of National Music Academy's funding now that I've milked the bloody industry for all it's got...then...oh then, those, bahhh haaaa uranium mines! The irony is almost lyrical, like one of my awesome songs.."

 Then there was that sinister little warning he issued by reuniting with the Oils only to sweat and pant over the yesteryear hit of "Beds are Burning"... at the bushfire relief concert..

I figure that the sick bastard has been plotting national genocide all along, from the day he formed midnight oil..the power and the passion should not be applied to our pink batts in any case..

Well I am glad almost that I suffer in sweaty pools of security knowing that I have no midnight oil in my music collection and no bloody insulation in my roof..

Is this the scary pre-emptive glance into a bleak political future cluttered with homicidal and washed up celebrities, dumb as shit? 

Sorry, this little outburst has stemmed from a bit of prior Pobjie study...click above for reference..

**Let me be explicit in disclaiming this as a JOCULAR blog posting, simply a JOCULAR posting**

Why Sarah Henderson wants Abbott's ass...

And not in a sexy, budgie smuggling frolicker, tank-driving Opposition Leader kind of a way, either...


...more like, she wants his ass for dead...


It was the perfect set-up, he was even there to discuss road safety


and then dang, too bad about that narrow escape..


In fact, the smug bastard used it as a political ploy expressing his concern over the very road which nearly saw his car written off...


Perhaps next time good ole Hendo could ask Peter Garrett over?

Why hasn't our PM got something better to do?

Perhaps it's a ploy to scare Tony Abbott..


No wonder this blessed little cherub is going to extremes in demonstrating her political disdain towards KRudd: by picking her nose she is probably making her own solid attempt to scrummage up some Haitian aid whilst our PM is hot on the publicity trail alongside ex-play schoolie, Rhys Muldoon, co-author of literal nightmare, Jasper and Abby and the Great Australia Day Kerfuffle.

Having recently visited the humble chambers of Kevin Rudd during an exciting excursion with my Political Reporting class, I can now attribute the wealth of Harry Potter editions adorning his bookshelf (ironically, alongside, The Bible..hmmm...) as research for his own venture into the world of children's book authorship...

Not using the publishing world as an attempt to maintain financial independence form ball-busting wife Therese Rein, apparently proceeds from the book will go to Centre for Community Child Health.

The grammatical errors featured in title alone: "Jasper, Abby and the..." would be much more appropriate (what did commas ever do to you Ruddy..?), are enough to make me hurl

There is alsthat a niggling issue that continues to goad me: the Haitian crisis, over which Rudd seems to be sitting pretty..(much like Mark Latham post-Boxing Day tsunami getting caught poolside at a Terrigal resort instead of attending press conferences..)

Righto Krudd, you've proven that any idiot can write a book, especially when the target demographic may not even be able to read yet, do as the US have done (come on, you must be pretty used to that "monkey see, monkey do" mentality by now...) and join hands - and chequebooks - alongside Howard and Keating, and hey why not Hawko! in an effort to help Haiti, so you can find something else to add to that "What I Did Over Summer" Parliamentary report...

But it seems that, alas, the only leaf Kev wishes to draw from regarding US politics descends dangerously close to the recent Sarah Palin deal with Fox...with plans for Krudd to take on Kochie in the breakfast TV stakes...Glad to hear he's got nothin better to do....

Hopefully I shall further pursue the issue of Krudd and the kid lit tragedy on Tuesday Overdrive tomorrow from 4.30 with my old fav, Ben Pobjie, who is keen to return to the airwaves following his axing from Melbourne community station 3RRR...