Why our beds will end up burning...

I have always been wary of that spindly limbed, elastic Gumby-like physique projected onto Peter Garrett, and not just cos of his shithouse dancing - which, incidentally resembled "The Monkey" on crack, but cos he's highly questionable..

And this creepy, sinister shadow was cast even BEFORE he sold his tree-huggin soul out to the Federal government, embraced by some indulgent, bullshit ministerial role.

So, Kevin Rudd reasoned:

"he's a rock star and he likes to sing about hardcore greenie type issues, so let's make up this all-encompassing portfolio of, say, the arts and the environment or something...we might need to whack water onto it at some point.."

With a trademark flash of his beady eyes and a recoiling gesture from his play dough wrists, he went about mass destruction...laughing maniacally to himself, he noted to himself one night in front of the bathroom mirror:

"It's just too, too perfect..I mean to cut most of National Music Academy's funding now that I've milked the bloody industry for all it's got...then...oh then, those, bahhh haaaa uranium mines! The irony is almost lyrical, like one of my awesome songs.."

 Then there was that sinister little warning he issued by reuniting with the Oils only to sweat and pant over the yesteryear hit of "Beds are Burning"... at the bushfire relief concert..

I figure that the sick bastard has been plotting national genocide all along, from the day he formed midnight oil..the power and the passion should not be applied to our pink batts in any case..

Well I am glad almost that I suffer in sweaty pools of security knowing that I have no midnight oil in my music collection and no bloody insulation in my roof..

Is this the scary pre-emptive glance into a bleak political future cluttered with homicidal and washed up celebrities, dumb as shit? 

Sorry, this little outburst has stemmed from a bit of prior Pobjie study...click above for reference..

**Let me be explicit in disclaiming this as a JOCULAR blog posting, simply a JOCULAR posting**

Why I Love Ads..

I always just pictured some sickly alabaster medic presenting the next project to that uber-chic, cutting edge - practically arthouse - ad agency...

"Now," he says, "it's not an easy one, but we need to make genital herpes sexy...make that quarter of the population feel a little less...well...ostracised like lepers, I guess..."

Well, that's what I envision every time I see a flourid display of sexy undergarments on display while we're told in soothing tones that it's fine to be all red and itchy "below the belt..."

And as such, this recent posting from the legendary media and marketing umbrella site founded by Tim Burrowes called Mumbrella (genius!):

"Scientologists Plan Aussie Ad Blitz" (Feb 3)

Interestingly enough, a focal point in the article revolves around similar issues of banter between me and Ben Pobs on the show: the Indie man of the House, Nick Xenophon, and his Cabinet outburst last year likening Lafayette Ron Hubbard and his sci-fi principles of theology as similar to the workings of a crim gang...

Ben thought that he was simply acting as a mouthpiece against evil forces..His name, after all, bein XENOphon,,closer than any other politician to that of the Intergalactic War Lord, XENU...Crafty..

Anyways, seeing that such a rare and marvellous opportunity presents itself, my mind now wonders at the possibilities... up to a million cinematic greats akin to that of Battlestar Galactica or perhaps the John Travolta remake of Hair Spray???

I guess it is necessary to add that, I am without a TV remote...In fact I cannot recall a time that I have ever lived with one

No, I haven't got "one of those great Universal ones...for all the gadgets and whizzbangs attached to one easy device!"

As such, I watch - and, admittedly, enjoy - ads more avidly than most in this day and age of pausing live TV and what not...So I consider these types of issues that face the journo usurpers, just in case the occasion should so require...

I'm thinking perhaps, a Twilight motif..

Why Children Should be Seen and Not Heard

They especially aren't worth hearing if they are as determined as this young whipper snapper, like so many other young and socially deprived pubescents with a knack for robotic like communications.

Kind of along the lines of Stephen Hawking (but who could argue, the guy is damn smart...he managed to summarise the history of time AND used his subsequent fame to seduce his nurse... how cliched!)

As usual, I digress, this was a story posted on the excellent National Public Radio (NPR) site. Check out the story, here!